Grant Pardee

Grant Pardee

Contact: grantpardee@gmail.com

Writer | Producer | Comedian

  • 106
    stories
  • 61K
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106
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10
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Grant Pardee's stories for
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Screen shot 2017 02 10 at 9.42.32 am article
McSweeney's

If Right-Wing Catchphrases Were In '90s Movies

Humor
“Do I make you triggered, baby? Do I?”

“A, B, C. Always Be Cucking.”

“I’m White Knight of the world!”

Hqdefault article
YouTube

11 Facts You Never Knew About LaCroix

Sketch Video
LaCroix Sparkling Water is the healthy beverage of choice for many young people, but here are some things you may not know about the sugar-free drink.

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imgur.com

My Summer with Slenderman

Comic
A parody memoir comic about a brief relationship with a monster.

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YouTube

Roommates Take Truth Serum For The First Time

Sketch Video
What happens when a viral video company makes roommates try Sodium Pentothal?

Screen shot 2016 04 02 at 8.45.54 pm article
McSweeney's

Boat Parts or Names of Unvaccinated Children?

Humor
1. Hopper 2. Tiller 3. Dashiell 4. Stanchion 5. Anais 6. Talullah

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pastemagazine.com

5 Best Up and Coming Comedians I Just Made Up

Humor
I don’t know any up and coming comedians to spotlight but I have to make this list anyway so I’m just going to do my best to make it up as I go along and hopefully by the end we’ll all get out of here okay.

Screen shot 2016 04 02 at 8.45.54 pm article
McSweeney's

Today’s Top Puppy Pictures.

Humor
In a sun-soaked patch of bright yellow tulips, the dark Tri Beagle perches precariously on the edge of a wooden barrel.

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YouTube

Batman’s New Robin!

Sketch Video
Batman has welcomed yet another vulnerable youth as his latest Robin, but maybe he should stop.

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YouTube

Everyone Knows Bruce Wayne is Batman

Sketch Video
Riddle me this: How much longer do we have to go on pretending that we don’t all know Bruce Wayne is Batman already? I mean, c’mon! How much is it costing the city to keep playing along with his sick, weird fantasies?

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YouTube

Grant Pardee @ UCB 3/8/16

Stand-Up
Performance from "Put Your Hand Together" in Los Angeles.

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YouTube

Secrets To Succe$$ (How To Be RICH!)

Sketch Video
Best-selling author Matt Champagne reveals his dark methods for obtaining wealth and power.

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YouTube

“Game of Thrones” Voice Actor Flips Out

Sketch Video
A coworker is pushed to their limit in a stressful work environment

Screen shot 2016 04 02 at 8.45.54 pm article
McSweeney's

A Sneak Preview of the 2015 Dads in Recliners Calendar.

Humor
JANUARY
George, 58, sleeps with his hands folded on his belly in a barley Owen PowerReclineXR Reclina-Rocker Recliner

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YouTube

Underwritten Female Character

Sketch Video (Producer)
After getting dumped by yet another sad, sensitive dude, Lola finds out she's the Manic Pixie Dream Girl in a movie from a group of secret agents called the UFC (Underwritten Female Characters).

Screen shot 2016 04 02 at 8.45.54 pm article
McSweeney's

Your Coworker Dave's Recent Contributions, Ranked By Effectiveness

Humor
1. Reminding everyone that he’s “super swamped,” although with what, exactly, remains a mystery.